• Rebecca Lerner

Lol obsessed with your energy

Remember in 20th Century Women when a red-headed Greta Gerwig says: Whatever you think your life is going to be like, just know it’s not going to be anything like that.

I don't fixate much on the future. More of a past/present rumination girl, which is not better. I wish I could say that I'm just so zen and present that it doesn't bother me, but that's not true. I think about the future occasionally, in the broadest of possible strokes. A lot of maybe's.

Maybe I'll get married if I find someone I can stand. Maybe I'll never get married because I: [PEOPLE FROM MY PAST, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO MENTALLY FILL THIS IN AND NEVER EVER TEXT ME ABOUT IT]. Maybe I'll have a kid and I'll be writing at a table with flowers on it and they'll toddle up to me, with their soft, chubby arms outstretched. And I'll lift them to my lap and kiss them on the forehead and say, "Hey, kid." Maybe I'll never have kids because the world feels too scary and unpredictable and someone else could do a better job at it.

This is all to say, I don't know what my life is going to be. It's kind of fun to guess, but not more fun that cooking mushrooms the right way or recommending a good book to someone who ends up really liking it. That feels like enough for now.


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